1. Study the Kama Sutra. “There is a technique
mentioned in the Kama Sutra for delaying ejaculations that basically
comes down to training yourself to last longer,” says Harper. She
instructs men to start slowly—with no more than one “in/out” stroke
every three seconds. “He should then build more strokes slowly over the
course of 4 or 5 minutes, until he is moving one stroke per second.” If
the man starts to feel like he is going to come, he should stop and
“hold himself inside his partner until he feels in control again. Then
he begins the whole process again.”
2.
Get Out of Your Head. “Performance anxiety is the
number one killer of sustaining an erection,” says s*x coach Dr. Patti
Britton, a board-certified Clinical Sexologist. “Shift your thinking to a
more confident inner voice, as opposed to a worried voice.” Britton
explains that a “self-debilitating mindset” is what shuts guys down.
“When you begin to feel anxiety, the strategy is to stop, take a breath,
and then focus on how things feel in the body. Stay out of your
head and get into your
body—focus on the feelings that your body is producing for you.”
3. Change things up. The best thing to do if you’re
getting close to the edge? Alter your speed, advises human se*uality
expert Catherine Toyooka, the founder of Catherine Coaches s*x
workshops. “Try teasing her. Take your man-hood out and rub just the
head of it sensually up and down and between her labia. Vaginas have
lots of nerve endings clustered in the lower portion of their vaginal
canal, so this move will still be very enjoyable for her to experience.”
4.
Slow down! “Instead of the fast-paced
jack-hammering style that many men are so fond of, try taking your
time,” says Toyooka. s*x at a slower pace leads to a more connected
experience for both people. “It’s more sensual because you are caressing
and exploring the rest of her body. Kiss her neck, nuzzle her ear, let
your hands gently explore her body,” she says. The most important thing
to keep in mind that will help you last longer? Enjoy the
journey that leads to your destination.
5. Try a different kind of exercise. Dr. Britton
suggests exercising the PC muscles (or pubococcygeus muscle, if we’re
being technical). They’re the ones that stretch from the anus to the
urinary sphincter. To figure out how to squeeze and contract the PC
muscles, try stopping your urine flow while you’re in the middle of
peeing. You’ll know it when you try it. Three sets of 15 reps per day
should do the trick. “Daily PC muscle reps help a guy to literally pump
himself up. Squeezing those muscles triggers good blood flow to the
man-hood, which in turn leads to mental confidence,” she says.
6. Practice the 7 and 9 method. Similar to the Kama
Sutra method (mentioned in no. 1, above), Harper recommends her
favorite— the 7 and 9 technique. “It’s 7 fast in/out strokes, followed
by 9 slow in/out strokes. Then repeat: 7 fast, 9 slow, 7 fast, 9 slow,”
she says. “This rhythm is good for guys who don’t last quite as long as
their partner needs, and good for the ladies as it establishes a good
rhythm for her stimulation too.”
7. Don’t go deep. “If you feel that continued deep
thrusting will bring on an all-too-quick climax, try penetrating only
the lower portion of her v**ina—in other words, take more shallow
thrusts,” says Toyooka. “Also, alternating between shallow and deep
thrusts can make you last longer, and will also make the experience a
lot more fun!”
8. Squeeze. Britton recommends that
men explore the “squeeze technique.” “There are three areas of the
man-hood where squeezing or applying pressure can help a man sustain or
maintain an erection.” For the first, make a tight ring with the index
finger and thumb around the base of the shaft when it is erect,
simulating a penile ring. It can help a man keep blood flow to the
engorged man-hood. The second: Apply pressure on the underside of the
head. “That’s a male hot spot, densely packed with nerves,” Britton
says. And finally, pressing on the “perineum,” or the spot between the
anus and the base of the testicles. “It will feel like the tip of the
nose. If he presses with his finger, it will congest the flow of release
and help quell the early release of the erection.”
